Let's talk about someone else's children for a change.
When I checked my email this morning, Yahoo! News informed me that Michelle Duggar had had a miscarriage.
Now, I have paid a little more attention to the Duggars these a past few months than I should have, mostly because A) 19 Kids and Counting is on ALL THE TIME, and when one is on bedrest or feeding babies at 2:00 am, one cannot be choosy when it comes to television programming, B) there was a small chance that I was going to be hugely pregnant for my friend's Halloween-themed wedding (Hi Nora!), and I was boning up on my potential Halloween costume (read: Michelle Duggar), and C) watching someone handle 19 kids makes twins look like a cake walk, so it helps me keep perspective.
This family is more than a little perplexing. Not only because they continue to pump out children at an alarming rate, but also because they just seem so damn happy all the time, which makes me draw the conclusion that they're on something, and it sure as hell ain't God's love (I'm thinking more along the lines of Vicodin).
So when I'm watching Jim Bob and his clan in action, I can't help but think, why?? WHY would you have all those children? Why would you take on that kind of social and financial responsibility? And perhaps more importantly, how many loads of laundry do you do in an average week??? And don't give me that God crap. Even if there was a god who told man to procreate like rabbits, he told us to do it a long time ago, when the human population could pretty much fit in the Super Dome.
Oh, Jim Bob, how times have changed.
You see, we're experiencing this little thing called OVER POPULATION, where the planet cannot possibly sustain all these people. In a sense, there are not enough communion wafers for the entire congregation. So your insistence on not using birth control and spawning massive amounts of children who will be raised to do the exact same thing is not only antiquated...it's downright immoral (and I don't give a rat's ass WHAT your god tells you to do. Morality and religion are two different things).
So while my heart goes out to the Duggars (and it does - truly - because a miscarriage is always difficult to bear), I can't help but think that the universe is trying to tell them something. Maybe that 19 kids is enough. Maybe that her uterus is just plain tired, and needs a fucking break already. Maybe that they should count their (numerous) blessings and wrap it up next time.
Of course, people who take their marching orders directly from the Bible rarely listen to the universe, so I'm sure they'll continue to do the unprotected baby dance as soon as she's able. And I'm sure there will eventually be a 20th Duggar to exploit.
But it just goes to show that fanatical religious views doesn't exactly align with what's best for the planet...or your fellow human beings, who, BTW, are already consuming more processed foods and breathing more polluted air than they would like. So next time you think God tells you to do something, take a long hard look at what he's really asking you to do, and I think you'll find that maybe he loves you, but he clearly hates the rest of us, otherwise, he'd tell you to keep it in your pants.
The moral of this story? You can listen to God, or you can listen to scientists, and from what I can tell, scientists are the only ones who don't hate our species.
Also that God seems a little passive aggressive, if you ask me.
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