THAT is how much I love fall.
Also...everybody who knows me knows that cursing is near and dear to my heart. My boys' first words will probably be in the form of 4 letters, and I couldn't be more proud of that.
So when somebody combines fall and cursing, I start to schvitz a little. I get all warm and fuzzy and my outlook on life is a little less stabby.
My heart grows three sizes, and my shoes feel like they fit just right.
There is a man who shares my obsessions. He, too, feels that fall and cursing is a beautiful combination. He managed to capture the essence - the very marrow - of fall...with enough F-bombs to make me positively swoon.
So without further ado, allow me to present McSweeney's glorious ode to all things crisp and fall-like.
In my family, this prose is legendary (foul mouthed trash talk has a genetic component, apparently). We recite this composition every year, usually once we've consumed a healthy amount of Merlot and brazenly wielded sharp, pumpkin-carving tools (yes, in that order). And every year, I post this work of literary genius, hoping that somewhere out there, someone's day gets a little brighter just by reading it.
If you don't like cursing, you shouldn't read it. Of course, if you don't like cursing, then why are you reading my blog?!?
Also, if you don't like fall, you shouldn't click on the link or read my blog, mostly because I don't like you and you may or may not be the anti-christ.
Go ahead...close this web page and delete this link from your favorites list.
I'll wait.
For those of you who are still reading - those of you who obviously love cursing and/or fall - I salute you.
Now go get your motherf*cking asses over to McSweeney's page and help me celebrate everything that is wonderful in life.
Because the air is crisp, the mums are abloomin', and squirrels are slap-fighting over acorns.
It's fall, f*fuckers.
I am sure you can appreciate this - not only did my son drop an f-bomb before the the age of 2, he used it in CONTEXT! It was a glorious moment in our household.
ReplyDeleteYou make me laugh so hard I have coughing fits.
ReplyDeleteTook me awhile to love Deadwood because the "fbomb" was elicited every 15 seconds .......but I am broken in and ready for anything.
Your writing remains fascinating, funny and helpful for us old farts that just can't fbomb.
It helps that your sentence structure, sense of
humor and ability to tell a story are superb.
Keep writing girl....you have talent.
Fuck yea! I must admit I do get a twinge of nostalgia and almost miss the coolness of autumn's awetastafuckamazingness.
ReplyDeleteWow, a blog NOT about babies...motherhood must be getting old.
ReplyDelete